In her book It Takes a Village: And Other Lessons Children Teach Us, the then First Lady Hillary Clinton drew upon an African proverb to dive deep into motherhood as the US nuclear family shifted towards another change in gender norms. I know for many of you out there in blog-land, that using the word “modern” to refer to something from 1996 is cringe, but as someone with a toe in both Gen X and Millennial waters, I’m going to stand by it.
So what does “a village” even mean? In 1996, the internet was in its infancy and a lot of American families did not have a computer in their home. For parents raising us 80s babies, the “village” consisted of actual three dimensional people who were most likely family members. My childhood sick days from school were spent watching “The Price Is Right” at my grandmother’s house and using a rotary phone to call my mom at work. Now parents spend thousands of dollars on day care costs, extended day, and nannies. If one of our kids gets sick, we spend the day working from home while trying to justify the 8 hours of screen time our kid is about to watch. Does Gen Alpha even know about The Price Is Right?! They’d probably think it was so “Ohio” anyway.
Historically, the concept of “the village” was a hallmark of many culture groups. I associate it most with the Latin American la cuarentena which is a 40 day period after birth where the new mom would rest and focus on nursing and recovery after the 9 months of pregnancy and the birthing process (BabyCenter, 2020). Chinese cultures have something similar where new mothers are on bed rest for a month focusing on restoring her balance (BabyCenter, 2020). In South Korea, the practice is called sam chil il (BabyCenter, 2020). Most recently, Kourtney Kardashian (2023) discussed implementing her own form of this concept after birthing her baby boy with Travis Barker.
The only way this concept even works is if there is a village of women who can take on the tasks that the new mother was performing on a daily basis. Once upon a time, the concept of communal living was standard practice so this rest period would not impact the daily lives of others in the village.
In the aftermath of the “progress” of the Industrial Revolution, gender norms, concepts of child rearing, and shifting economic levels took over all aspects of life. The communal living gave way to urban centers of isolated houses for those in the new working middle class and tenement housing for the new working class. In her article titled “The Cult of True Womanhood: 1820-1860,” published in the American QuarterlyI in 1966, Barbara Welter used the term “cult of domesticity” to describe the strict gender norms created by the middle class in the industrial era (Welter, 1966).
Not only did Victorian England create the modern home architecture filled with walls to create specific rooms for various daily activities, but the Victorians also created the concept of the “housewife” and her separate sphere of daily tasks (Welter, 1966). This gender norm concept is so significant that it appears in Key Concept 4.2.II.C of the AP® US History course description, Key Concept 3.2.III.A of the AP® European HIistory course description, and Key Concept 5.1.VI.B of the AP®World History course description (The College Board,2020).
The isolated spaces created by the dividing walls built into the industrial age’s middle class home also created walls that isolated women from their villages.
As women increased their presence in the paid workforce, in the post-World War II era, their paid labor did not end the isolation of their unpaid labor in the home (Gould, 2021). Women began using sledge hammers to take down those separation walls created in the Victorian Age. This way women could turn their living spaces into an open concept so that they can make dinner, help with the kid’s homework, while also creating a presentation for work the next day.
Did the village return? Or did the men become the women’s village? Did we finally create a robot who can take care of the home?
Unfortunately not.
Study after study reveals that women are living in a time with the “double shift” and still completing most domestic labor along with the new paid labor (Gould, 2021). This isn’t isolated in the United States either. So what did women do?
Women adapted. Not only did women create open living spaces, but we also utilized the internet to create a new version of the village that is also extremely free of those Victorian Age walls. Women are finding ways to monetize domestic labor through the internet as well (as I hope you will click on the enroll button once you are finished reading).
Simultaneously, there is an understanding among women. There is a simple nod as we drop off our kids at school or daycare that signals a non-verbal camaraderie among the women. Sometimes that camaraderie becomes verbal so that we don’t end up in a shareholder meeting with a kid sized handprint made out of flour on the back of our skirts. We take our turns covering for each other at work when we have to pick up a sick kid from school or take one to the dentist. We hand out bandaids or tampons to complete strangers simply because we understand each other.
Many women who watched “The Price is Right” with their grandmothers in the 80s and 90s don’t have that village. I live in a city where I only share DNA with the two kids I am trying to keep alive everyday. My children never had a grandparent to introduce them to the importance of knowing the cost of a blender so you could earn as many Plinko chips as possible. Unfortunately that isn’t wisdom I really have time to teach, but I can honestly say that when my chips are down and I was on the brink of exhaustion, my internet village was there for me with a cup of coffee and a warm smile.
So what does “a village” even mean? In 1996, the internet was in its infancy and a lot of American families did not have a computer in their home. For parents raising us 80s babies, the “village” consisted of actual three dimensional people who were most likely family members. My childhood sick days from school were spent watching “The Price Is Right” at my grandmother’s house and using a rotary phone to call my mom at work. Now parents spend thousands of dollars on day care costs, extended day, and nannies. If one of our kids gets sick, we spend the day working from home while trying to justify the 8 hours of screen time our kid is about to watch. Does Gen Alpha even know about The Price Is Right?! They’d probably think it was so “Ohio” anyway.
Historically, the concept of “the village” was a hallmark of many culture groups. I associate it most with the Latin American la cuarentena which is a 40 day period after birth where the new mom would rest and focus on nursing and recovery after the 9 months of pregnancy and the birthing process (BabyCenter, 2020). Chinese cultures have something similar where new mothers are on bed rest for a month focusing on restoring her balance (BabyCenter, 2020). In South Korea, the practice is called sam chil il (BabyCenter, 2020). Most recently, Kourtney Kardashian (2023) discussed implementing her own form of this concept after birthing her baby boy with Travis Barker.
The only way this concept even works is if there is a village of women who can take on the tasks that the new mother was performing on a daily basis. Once upon a time, the concept of communal living was standard practice so this rest period would not impact the daily lives of others in the village.
In the aftermath of the “progress” of the Industrial Revolution, gender norms, concepts of child rearing, and shifting economic levels took over all aspects of life. The communal living gave way to urban centers of isolated houses for those in the new working middle class and tenement housing for the new working class. In her article titled “The Cult of True Womanhood: 1820-1860,” published in the American QuarterlyI in 1966, Barbara Welter used the term “cult of domesticity” to describe the strict gender norms created by the middle class in the industrial era (Welter, 1966).
Not only did Victorian England create the modern home architecture filled with walls to create specific rooms for various daily activities, but the Victorians also created the concept of the “housewife” and her separate sphere of daily tasks (Welter, 1966). This gender norm concept is so significant that it appears in Key Concept 4.2.II.C of the AP® US History course description, Key Concept 3.2.III.A of the AP® European HIistory course description, and Key Concept 5.1.VI.B of the AP®World History course description (The College Board,2020).
The isolated spaces created by the dividing walls built into the industrial age’s middle class home also created walls that isolated women from their villages.
As women increased their presence in the paid workforce, in the post-World War II era, their paid labor did not end the isolation of their unpaid labor in the home (Gould, 2021). Women began using sledge hammers to take down those separation walls created in the Victorian Age. This way women could turn their living spaces into an open concept so that they can make dinner, help with the kid’s homework, while also creating a presentation for work the next day.
Did the village return? Or did the men become the women’s village? Did we finally create a robot who can take care of the home?
Unfortunately not.
Study after study reveals that women are living in a time with the “double shift” and still completing most domestic labor along with the new paid labor (Gould, 2021). This isn’t isolated in the United States either. So what did women do?
Women adapted. Not only did women create open living spaces, but we also utilized the internet to create a new version of the village that is also extremely free of those Victorian Age walls. Women are finding ways to monetize domestic labor through the internet as well (as I hope you will click on the enroll button once you are finished reading).
Simultaneously, there is an understanding among women. There is a simple nod as we drop off our kids at school or daycare that signals a non-verbal camaraderie among the women. Sometimes that camaraderie becomes verbal so that we don’t end up in a shareholder meeting with a kid sized handprint made out of flour on the back of our skirts. We take our turns covering for each other at work when we have to pick up a sick kid from school or take one to the dentist. We hand out bandaids or tampons to complete strangers simply because we understand each other.
Many women who watched “The Price is Right” with their grandmothers in the 80s and 90s don’t have that village. I live in a city where I only share DNA with the two kids I am trying to keep alive everyday. My children never had a grandparent to introduce them to the importance of knowing the cost of a blender so you could earn as many Plinko chips as possible. Unfortunately that isn’t wisdom I really have time to teach, but I can honestly say that when my chips are down and I was on the brink of exhaustion, my internet village was there for me with a cup of coffee and a warm smile.
Created with
